Sippi Lovin'

I saw Per posted in the comments section (Bonnie, I noticed your comment as well...its nice to see you're still checking up on me) and will post a portion of it here for recapitulation.

Top 10 books of all-time in no particular order:
1. Joseph Heller, Catch-22
2. John Edgar Wideman, Philadephia Fire
3. Tim Winton, Night Riders
4. O.E. Rolvaag, Giants in the Earth
5. Upton Sinclair, The Jungle
6. Henry David Thoreau, Walden
7. Jack Kerouac, On the Road
8. Joe Klein, Woody Guthrie: A Life
9. J.F. Powers, The Stories of J.F. Powers
10. Wallace Stegner, Angle of Repose

What do you think, big brother?
-Per Hansa

Well, Per Hansa, I think the list is kickin'. I've yet to read exactly half of your choices and figure to knock out one or two of the others over Christmas break. I am curious, however, why you included Walden. I'm three-fourths of the way through it (much like I was when school began) and likely will finish it on the plane ride home in December. Many folks, whose opinions I respect, have taken much away from Thoreau's writing (our dad, Benjamin...I remember he enjoyed it, and yourself), but I haven't been smitten with his work. I hesitate to expound upon why this is before hurling invective, I figure I'd be suspect to criticism without having read the whole book. I do, however, encourage any of those reading the blog ,who have read and enjoyed the book, to explain why they've deemed it a notable read. Bonnie, I'm guessing you've read this, what did you think?

In other news, I was given a pamphlet on the basketball court the other week answering, "Man's most-asked question!" A mammoth black man was asking me if I believed in The Lord Jesus Christ as my saviour. My reply was an anxious, "Well, I...I, ah, don't exactly know, but do, ah, sometimes think about it!" For reasons that escape me, Mr. Ritz and I seem to have an air about us that invites religious inquiry and lecture. Many will recall "Kowalski's Jesus" who accosted us in our freshman year at Macalester outside the grocery store, initiating conversation by asking, "Do you eat soy?" On the coat tails of this inquiry were quaint anecdotes about how the lord provided him nourishment in the form of soy from dumpsters any time he was hungry. Anyway, the pamphlet, which is in cartoon form, reads something like this...I'll edit for brevity's sake.

Narrator: Man's most-asked question.
Man: How can I get into heaven?
Narrator: The bible tells you how. The bible has the answer!
Man: Tell me more!
Narrator: For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23 This is a basic fact that you need to know. No one is exempt.
Man: You mean...EVERYONE in the world is a...sinner?!?!
Narrator: That's right! No matter how hard you try, sin will keep you from reaching God's glory, you'll always come short! The bible also says: The wages of sin is death...Romans 6:23 This death is hell!
Man: That doesn't leave much hope!
Narrator: But! ...The gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our lord. Romans 6:23
Man: A gift?!?! Yes! What must I do to be saved??
Narrator: You can not work your way to heaven!! Works also come short of God's glory. Believe in the lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved. Acts 16:31
Man: I've always believed in Jesus! I'm not a heathen, you know!
Narrator: This belief is a total commitment to Christ and gives a new life: Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away. Behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 This new life is the result of absolute trust in Jesus Christ. Christ also said: I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved. John 10:9
Man: I want to go through that door!!
Narrator: You can, my friend...just come humbly before the lord and ask the lord Jesus to be your saviour. He is the Only one who can forgive your sins.

Ok.

Why is it that we must believe in God's existence? Why would God care if we believed in his/her/its existence? I'm tempted to offer all sorts of, "If I were God" scenarios, but many have already heard them or can guess what's bound to be said, so I'll spare you the irritation. Can anyone share with me why God would condemn an individual to hell if he/she failed to believe in his/her/its existence, especially if that person is living their life in accordance with the moral codes taught (which codes are the "right codes," I don't know, but let's say this person got lucky and aced every one!) If this were the case, well, God strikes me as wildly narcissistic.

Whether fortunate or not, this entry will not be accompanied by a lengthy diatribe about life in the Mississippi delta. However, I do have the most delectable treat for anyone following the blog. Trust me, link-up good fella.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=19270&item=5535890757&rd=1#ebayphotohosting

I’d like very much for someone to invent and then market, at thrift store prices naturally, a device whereby my thoughts are immediately transcribed to print. I’ve had the idea in mind for some time now and, go figure, never had the time or energy to put it to words. Initially I pictured the device being activated on "thought-command," but now I’m thinking that all thoughts should be recorded and either deleted or siphoned off to an autobiography of sorts after "x" number of minutes/hours/days. It might also be nice if the transcription arranged the thoughts in a chronological or reasonable order, thereby rendering writers obsolete and I will no longer feel inadequate when posting here. On the upside, this would allow all of those great ideas we have while inebriated, running, falling asleep, etc. to be recorded for later review. On the downside, well, I guess Per would be out of a job and paranoia about Big Brother gettin’ up in our thoughts would only heighten. Hmmm...sounds worth it to me!

I know I've referenced or alluded to far more than my present workload will allow and while I can’t possibly cover all that I claimed I'd one day get to, allow me to explain the reasoning behind my earlier military-related postings. I had been observing a vocal and dense cohort of military personnel in Mississippi and wondered how the state compares to others in its service to country. In my first month in Hattiesburg I watched our local newsman report the death of young Mississippian men almost nightly. I also witnessed the very Walmart military recruitment scene depicted in Mr. Moore’s Fahrenheit 911 in that same month…just looking for a conspiracy really. I thought there might be a chance that folks in Washington were sending a greater percentage of Mississippians to fight "our" war in Iraq. As we all know by now, this is far from the richest state in the nation and its also one of the blackest. Maybe the conspiracy is there, again, I don’t have the time or energy to fully explore the question.

Oh, and before I forget, I’d also like to see Webster’s align its product with the thought-technology I’ve conceptualized. The way I see it, all we'd have to do is think, "Idolater, son of a bitch, what the hell is that?" And then BAM…

idolater (§-0däl-d-dr( n 1 : a worshiper of idols 2 : a person that admires or loves intensely and often blindly [Middle French idolatre, from Late Latin idolatres, from Greek eidÇ-latres, from eidÇlon "idol" + -latr‘s "worshiper"]

Pretty sweet, huh?

I see blogger ruined my phonetic spelling. Damn blogger, I worked on that instead of my paper!

I visited the dentist on Friday for a procession of extractions…four teeth gone, all in the name of vanity. On Wednesday, I’ll have four metal brackets placed on my back teeth (serving as anchors) and returning a week later to have the remainder of the braces glued on. Newsworthy, yeah? For some time, I couldn’t decide whether to wait and surprise folks back home with a mouthful of metal or go ahead and post the news here. In the end, I decided that because I post so infrequently and often with no personal flavor, that indeed this warrants mention. And so, yours truly, fed up with his mangled set of chompers, took matters into his own hands and will have braces in time for Christmas. I also have hopes of this putting an end to the incessant grinding at night, which Michelle, understandably, finds so frustrating. I’m told there are nights where she wakes up because the grinding is so loud and clamps my jaw tight until I cease with the gnashing. The orthodontist has said that the braces could very well take care of this, but much like the clicking in my jaw, there is no guarantee. Only time will tell.

As many of you know, I have an intense phobia of needles and trips to the dentist or doctor for inoculations are stressful to say the least. Somehow, I chose to study abroad in Ghana, prompting the good folks down at Ramsey County Hospital to turn my left triceps into a cribbage board and then this. I was hesitant to tell anyone about my plans for braces not only because it would serve as a terrific surprise, but also I feared backing out. Can’t back out anymore…the worst is over.

On that note, let me share with you the process of extracting teeth. Well, first they give a person nitrous oxide (and thank heavens for nitrous oxide…more on that later,) then they stick a fella full of needles. Some time later, there’s much popping and cracking. Finally, to the delight of everyone in the room, I had one tooth fire clear across the room, blood spattering everywhere, prompting them to wipe me down with an alcoholic swab afterwards. That’s all I can tell you…I, quite naturally, had my eyes closed the entire time. Oh, and if you get your teeth pulled in Mississippi and the dental assistants allude to “tacking you up,” that’s not a bad thing; it’s just a topical anesthetic. Oh, and if you let them know you came there directly from a three hour neuroscience exam, they’ll give the nitrous oxide flow an extra bump. Afterwards, the dentist remarked, “You did a terrific job in the chair, then again, you were snortin’ gas the whole time!” Speaking of gas, the entire time I laid in that chair, I searched for an analogy that would do the experience justice. I figure I've got one: inhaling nitrous oxide feels like the very best part of sleep on a Monday morning in the Minnesotan winters. I think that’s pretty accurate and believe me, I dug deep for that analogy.

Lastly, as I sit here typing this, I’m sporting a shaved head for the first time in my life. My mother tells me we call that hinee and I quickly informed her that I’m in the business of lookin’ cool now and I can’t have her telling folks I’ve got a hinee. I don’t even know how to spell hinee and where did that word come from anyway?

I have no doubt y'all could interpret the attachment just fine, however, for added effect and because I imagine a fair number of you didn't read it, I've included the following.

Alabama: 1.6% of U.S. population; 1.9% of U.S. military...(0.3%)
Alaska: 0.2% of U.S. population; 1.2% of U.S. military...(1.0%)
Arizona: 1.8% of U.S. population; 1.9% of U.S. military...(0.1%)
Arkansas: 0.9% of U.S. population; 0.5% of U.S. military...
California: 12.0% if U.S. population; 11.1% of U.S. military...
Colorado: 1.5% of U.S. population; 2.4% of U.S. military...(0.9%)
Connecticut: 1.2% of U.S. population; 0.4% of U.S. military...
Delaware: 0.3% of the U.S. population, 0.3% of U.S. military...
DC: 0.2% of the U.S. population, 1.6% of U.S. military...(1.4%)
Florida: 5.7% of the U.S. population, 4.9% of U.S. military...
Georgia: 2.9% of the U.S. population, 5.8% of U.S. military...(2.9%)
Hawaii: 0.4% of the U.S. population, 3.0% of U.S. military...(2.6%)
Idaho: 0.5% of the U.S. population, 0.3% of U.S. military...
Illinois: 4.4% of the U.S. population, 2.4% of U.S. military...
Indiana: 2.2% of the U.S. population, 0.6% of U.S. military...
Iowa: 1.0% of the U.S. population, 0.1% of U.S. military...
Kansas: 1.0% of the U.S. population, 1.3% of U.S. military...(0.3%)
Kentucky: 1.4% of the U.S. population, 2.6% of U.S. military...(1.2%)
Louisiana: 1.6% of the U.S. population, 1.5% of U.S. military...
Maine: 0.5% of the U.S. population, 0.5% of U.S. military...
Maryland: 1.9% of the U.S. population, 3.7% of U.S. military...(1.8%)
Massachussets: 2.3% of the U.S. population, 0.5% of U.S. military...
Michigan: 3.5% of the U.S. population, 0.5% of U.S. military...
Minnesota: 1.7% of the U.S. population, 0.2% of U.S. military...
Mississippi: 1.0% of the U.S. population, 1.4% of U.S. military...(0.4%)
Missouri: 2.0% of the U.S. population, 1.5% of U.S. military...
Montana: 0.3% of the U.S. population, 0.3% of U.S. military...
Nebraska: 0.6% of the U.S. population, 0.7% of U.S. military...(0.1%)
Nevada: 0.7% of the U.S. population, 0.7% of U.S. military...
New Hampshire: 0.4% of the U.S. population, 0.1% of U.S. military...
New Jersey: 3.0% of the U.S. population, 1.2% of U.S. military...
New Mexico: 0.6% of the U.S. population, 1.1% of U.S. military...(0.5%)
New York: 6.7% of the U.S. population, 1.9% of U.S. military...
North Carolina: 2.9% of the U.S. population, 6.7% of U.S. military...(3.8%)
North Dakota: 0.2% of the U.S. population, 0.6% of U.S. military...(0.4%)
Ohio: 4.0% of the U.S. population, 1.7% of U.S. military...
Oklahoma: 1.2% of the U. S. population, 2.7% of U.S. military...(1.5%)
Oregon: 1.2% of the U.S. population, 0.2% of U.S. military...
Pennsylvania: 4.4% of the U.S. population, 1.7% of U.S. military...
Rhode Island: 0.4% of the U.S. population, 0.4% of U.S. military...
South Carolina: 1.4% of the U.S. population, 2.7% of U.S. military...(1.3%)
South Dakota: 0.3% of the U.S. population, 0.3% of U.S. military...
Tennessee: 2.0% of the U.S. population, 0.5% of U.S. military...(
Texas: 7.4% of the U.S. population, 8.9% of U.S. military...(1.5%)
Utah: 0.8% of the U.S. population, 1.2% of U.S. military...(0.4%)
Vermont: 0.2% of the U.S. population, -% of U.S. military...
Virginia: 2.5% of the U.S. population, 10.0% of U.S. military...(7.5%)
Washington: 2.1% of the U.S. population, 3.7% of U.S. military...(1.6%)
West Virginia: 0.6% of the U.S. population, 0.1% of U.S. military...
Wisconsin: 1.9% of the U.S. population, 0.2% of U.S. military...
Wyoming: 0.2% of the U.S. population, 0.3% of U.S. military...(0.1%)

Those states contributing a percentage of the U.S. military, greater than their percentage of the U.S. population:
Wyoming, Washingtong, Virginia, Utah, Texas, South Carolina, Oklahoma, North Dakota, North Carolina, New Mexico, Nebraska, Mississippi, Maryland, Kentucky, Kansas, Hawaii, Georgia, DC, Colorado, Arizona, Alaska, & Alabama

The most concervative states in the union as determined by election 2004:
Utah, Wyoming, Idaho, Nebraska, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Alabama, Alaska, Kansas, Texas, Indiana, & Kentucky.